


Fears

by dontcare77ghj



Series: Sleep [29]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:21:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25196875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontcare77ghj/pseuds/dontcare77ghj
Relationships: Natasha Romanov (Marvel)/Reader, Natasha Romanov/Tony Stark, Natasha Romanov/Tony Stark/Reader, Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov/Reader, Steve Rogers/Reader, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark/Reader, Tony Stark/Reader
Series: Sleep [29]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1518629
Kudos: 39





	Fears

Natasha x reader x Steve x Tony

The Maximoff twins had changed sides. When you and the team first met the kids, they had been a hassle. Pietro, the speedster, had quite literally run laps around the team as he caused chaos on the field. He had been more annoying than dangerous, almost like a small child. His sister, Wanda, on the other hand, was a much larger issue than her brother.

Wanda was dangerous. She ran on anger, and her goal was revenge. 

She wanted revenge on Tony. Retribution on his company and their weapons. And maybe, more importantly, revenge on the world for what had happened to her family. Her powers were erratic. Terrifying if you wanted to be honest. 

After Ultron’s true motives had come to light, the twins changed allegiance. Pietro had, unfortunately, died during the battle of Ultron, another member of Wanda’s family lost. Yet the girl knew what she wanted to do next. She didn’t want revenge for Pietro. Wanda needed to avenge his death. And the best way she could do that was to join the Avengers.

After the unfortunate incident with Wanda's powers, the team had forgiven her. They each understood what it was like to make bad decisions or decisions under duress, and she was a child.

Though you could forgive the girl, it was harder to let go of what she had done to you. Especially since it was not only affecting you but your partners as well.

“And just what do you think you’re doing?” Tony asked, causing you to jump.

“Fuck, Tony. You’re going to give me a heart attack.” You cursed, pressing your and against your chest.

“Aren’t I lucky I scared you before you drank that coffee then?” He asked, gesturing to the pot in your hand. “Tell me you aren’t going to drink straight from that pot because Steve will kill me for imprinting my ‘bad habits’ onto you.”

“He didn’t call it a bad habit, he called it an unhealthy habit.” You smiled at him.

“Bad, unhealthy, same thing.” Tony shrugged, moving closer and wrapping his arms around your waist. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you’re dodging the question.”

“I’m not dodging anything.” You denied, putting a hand on his. “I just didn't answer the question.”

“Uh-huh,” Tony smirked. “You do know it’s one in the morning, correct? Coffee isn’t really for this time of day.”

“Like you can talk.” You scoffed, pulling out of his hold. “You drink more coffee than anyone I’ve ever met.” You said as you grabbed a mug, a large one at that.

“That’s not true.” Tony denied. “Katniss drinks at least two cups more than I do a day.” He said, causing you to laugh. “I thought you were asleep with Steve and Nat?”

“I was, and now I’m not.” You said, filling the mug to the brim.

“We’ve been together how long?” Tony asked you.

“Two years, three months if I’m not mistaken. Want a cup?” You raised the pot at him.

“Thanks, babe.” Tony nodded. “We’ve been together for two years, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drink black coffee.” He commented.

“I’ve never wanted to stay awake before.” You murmured, handing him his mug.

“Are you finally ready to join me as an insomniac?” Tony smirked.

“No, I’m not going to join you. It’s just for tonight. I hope.” You added the last part quietly. 

“Okay, serious talk time,” Tony said, putting his mug down. “Talk to me. You’ve been rattled since Ultron. You can tell me what’s going on.”

“I don't think I can.” You whispered, not looking at him.

“You sneak out of bed without waking Nat or Steve, but you can’t tell me this?” Tony asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Exactly.” You swallowed harshly. “Please, Tone, don’t push me. I can’t. Not right now.” You whispered, blinking away tears.

“Okay, okay. I won’t push.” Tony said, moving forward and pulling you into his arms. “I’m here when you’re ready. However long that is. Until then you can stay up with me, and we’ll watch movies. Drink. Train, whatever you want.”

“Can we go to the lab? I wouldn’t mind seeing you in your element.” You said, looking up at the man.

“That’s my girl.” Tony smiled. “Come on, I've got some gadgets you can play with.”

Non-reader POV

Y/N’s one night was a lie. Over the next week, she remained awake, refusing to sleep for longer than an hour a night. 

She didn’t mention it to anyone, but Tony knew. 

Tony also knew who else wasn’t sleeping.

“I’m going to have to tell Tasha her games off,” Tony commented, leaning against a wall. “If you can sneak out of bed, she’s gotta be missing other things.”

“Christ, Tony,” Steve grunted as he jumped in surprise and was almost hit with the punching bag. “Give a man a little warning.”

“I’m getting better at sneaking up on people,” Tony smirked, stepping forward. “If memory serves, you have training in four hours. It’s not like you to be up at three in the morning.”

“Couldn’t sleep,” Steve admits, going back to hitting the bag. “Been having nightmares.”

“I know. It’s not just you. I know Nat’s been having them, and Y/N too.” Tony said, watching the blonde’s reactions. 

“Really?” Steve asked, stilling the bag for a minute. “How did I not notice that?”

“Well, Y/N has gotten really good at avoiding being caught, and Nat’s a spy. Or ex-spy, either way. It’s all about timing.” Tony commented. “I’ve programmed JARVIS to let me know when one of you wakes up.”

“I’m going to call that sweet because I think it’s supposed to be.” Steve dryly chuckled.

“It is.” Tony nodded. “It’s time for me to play the part of the therapist again. I’m getting really good at this lately.” He said, stepping towards the man until he was right in front of him. “What’s happening in here?” Tony asked, tapping Steve’s temple lightly.

“Too much.” Steve sighed. “There’s too much happening.” He repeated, sagging slightly.

“Alright, come on. Sit down and talk with me.” Tony said, guiding Steve to a bench. “It’ll help you, and it’ll help my neck.”

“It’s because you’re so short.” Steve managed a smile.

“Okay, I will only allow that because you’re sleep-deprived, but you only get one short comment, and you just used it,” Tony told him. “Want to tell me about the nightmares? Specifics or otherwise?”

“Not really.” Steve murmured, avoiding eye contact. “Don’t want anyone to know.”

“I’m going to steal a line from my therapist here but, they’re just dreams, Stevie. Just dreams. Even if it’s a memory, it’s still a dream. It can’t hurt you unless you let it hurt you.” Tony said, taking both the man’s hands.

“That sounded really good, Tony. Maybe you should think about becoming a therapist.” Steve said after a minute, causing Tony to laugh.

“Yeah, I know I’m the most comforting asshole in this Tower.” He chuckled. “Are you sure you don’t want to tell me about it?” He asked again.

“Sure. At least for now.” Steve told him. “Thank you for being here.”

“Of course.” Tony smiled before jumping to his feet. “Right, I’m awake, and you’re awake. We’re in the training room, so let’s train. Teach me how to throw a punch.” Tony said, making his way to the punching bags.

“With pleasure, Tone.” Steve smiled, standing up and standing behind the brunette.

“I know you’re there, Tony,” Natasha said without turning. “You’ve gotten better, but you’re not that good yet.” She added with a small smile.

“I’ll keep training. One day I’ll get you.” Tony commented, standing next to her at the barre. “Should I ask if you’ll tell me what’s keeping you up?”

“You can.” Natasha nodded, continuing her stretching. “But I’m not going to tell you. Not right now.”

“Then I won’t ask,” Tony said, causing her to stop.

“You won’t?” She confirmed, raising a perfectly arched eyebrow.

“Nope.” Tony verified. “I barely got anything out of Y/N or Steve, I know I won’t get anything out of you unless you want to tell me.”

“They both think they’re so sneaky.” Natasha chuckled. “Steve thinks neither of us hears him tripping over shoes and crashing into the wall.”

“He’s not the most graceful of men.” Tony agreed with a fond smile.

“Y/N is better. She takes about five minutes to crawl out of bed and another five to leave the room.” Natasha continued. “What a group we are, we all think we’re doing so well.”

“To be fair, I’m probably doing the best out of all of us,” Tony said, raising his hands.

“Tony, you’ve slept three hours this week,” Natasha stated, staring into the man’s eyes. “You’re not the only one who talks to JARVIS.”

“Damn it, J,” Tony muttered.

“You haven’t been this bad since New York,” Natasha said, stepping forward. 

“I’ve never seen the three of you like this.” Tony countered. “You’ve always been the put together ones in this relationship.”

“Don’t feel so put together now,” Natasha mumbled. “I feel like a mess if I’m being honest.”

“One of the prettiest messes I’ve ever seen.” Tony smiled, taking her face in his hands.

“I don't like this, Tony,” Natasha said, and at that moment, she looked more vulnerable than Tony had ever seen her. “I can get over my normal nightmares easily, but I can’t get over this.”

“No one’s forcing you to 'get over’ this, Nat,” Tony told her. 

“I am,” Natasha whispered. “I’m supposed to be stronger than this.”

“You are the strongest person I know,” Tony said. “And you’re one of the bravest. But sometimes you have to let yourself breathe. Sometimes you need to allow yourself to feel fear.”

“Maybe you should take over Steves’s pre-mission speeches.” Natasha laughed, resting her forehead on Tony’s.

“Nah, got to give Steve something to do.” Tony shook his head, causing the woman to laugh again. “I should leave you to it,” Tony said, knowing Natasha wouldn’t dance in front of him.

“Tony,” Natasha murmured. “Do you want to stay?” She whispered.

“I’d be glad to.” Tony smiled, taking a seat on the floor.

Reader POV

“Tony, what's going on?” You asked as he pulled you into your shared bedroom. Where Natasha and Steve were sat on the bed, waiting patiently.

It had been two weeks since you’d last properly slept, and it was currently three in the morning.

“We’re all having a meeting.” He said, sitting you next to Natasha. "It’s been two weeks. None of us have slept in two weeks, and we all know it but haven’t acknowledged it.“

"We’ve acknowledged it,” Natasha said.

“We just haven’t done anything about it.” You added.

“And we need to. This is going to sound so hypocritical coming from me, but you’re all making yourselves sick.” Tony stated. “None of you are sleeping, you’re all having nightmares, and you all have unhealthy coping mechanisms.”

“You’re right, that did sound really hypocritical.” Steve nodded.

“And I think I know why.” Tony continued as if he hadn’t been interrupted. “Wanda played with all of our heads. Showed us our worst nightmares, and we never did anything about it. Never talked about it.”

“You want to talk about it?” You asked him slowly. 

“Our worst nightmares?” Natasha added.

“I don’t know if you understand what that means, Tone.” Steve shook his head.  
“We have been together for a long time. And there’s a part of me that thinks if we don’t talk about it, we won’t be together much longer. I can’t lose any of you.” Tony admitted.

“Tony’s right.” Natasha sighed. “Maybe it’s time to lighten the load.”

You and Steve shared a look before you nodded. 

“So, who’s going first?” You questioned.

“Wanda showed me what would happen if we lost the war,” Steve admitted. “The world was nothing more than ash and rubble. And there were markers on the ground. For Bruce, Thor, Clint, Fury, all of yours. I lost and, then you all lost.”

“But Steve, you didn’t lose,” Natasha assured him, taking his hand. “You won the war.”

“There were so many times I could’ve screwed up though. So many. And I don’t want to be the reason anyone dies.” Steve said, squeezing her hand back. “Who’s next?” He asked after a minute.

“She showed me something similar.” Tony said. “Everyone was dead. Everyone. But you all kept saying I could’ve done more. Should’ve done more. That it was my fault you all died. Because I didn’t save you. That’s why I built Ultron. I wanted to protect you all. What a mess of that I made.” He chuckled.

“You didn’t mess anything up.” You said, making him look at you. “You wanted to do the right thing. It just didn’t go the way you wanted and that’s okay.”

“She’s right, Tony.” Steve nodded. “Ultron was a mistake.”

“Okay someone else go, please.” Tony begged.

“Clint brought me to SHIELD, but he never explained how he found me.” You stuttered. “I didn’t know what I was, all I knew was that I hurt people and I couldn’t do that. I was going to kill myself. I had a noose around my neck, and Wanda took me back to that. You were all there, cheering as I hung. No-one came to save me that time.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Steve cooed, pulling you into his lap. “That would never happen.”

“Absolutely not.” Natasha agreed as she took one of your hands.

“You don’t feel like that anymore do you, Y/N?” Tony asked. “You don’t want to kill yourself?”

“No, I don’t.” You gave him a weak smile. “Haven’t wanted to for two years.”

“I think it’s my turn now.” Natasha sighed after a period of silence. “I was back in the red room. Target practice day. I was alone in the room except for the bagged targets. I knew the rules were to shoot, so I did. The bags were gone by the time the targets fell to the ground and I realized they were you all. I didn’t kill you on accident, I did it because I was following orders. It made me think that I have no place in the world.”

“Your place is here.” Tony said, taking a seat on her other side. “With us.”

“You’re not alone, Nat.” You added, squeezing her hand tightly. “You never have to follow orders like that again.”

“What a group we are.” Steve chuckled humorlessly. “All scared because we didn’t communicate with one another.”

“I blame the sleep deprivation.” You smiled.

“Oh sleep.” Tony groaned. “That word sounds like a forgotten dream.”

“We do still have night hours left.” Natasha commented. “Why not use them to the best of our abilities?”

“Are you sure?” You asked the woman.

“I think we’ve bared our souls enough to finally sleep. And if not, we’re all going to be together.” Natasha reasoned. “I think we’ll be fine.”

“You what, I think you’re right.” Steve smiled. “Tony, Y/N?”

“I’m willing to try.” You said.

“Well then,” Tony stood, clapping his hands. “I think it’s time we get some shut up. JARVIS do not disturb protocol please.” He said as you all became climbing under the covers.

“Of course sir.” Came the reply as you all drifted off. 

For the first time in two weeks you all slept through the night, and well into the next day. With no nightmares plaguing any of you.


End file.
